Conciousness

oh, the many wonders of consciousness. how i marvel at thee.

i have mentioned before that i sometimes wonder just how far all of us are from being completely insane. for me, apparently, just a few sleepless nights. (which, frankly, is worrisome)

and, of course, there’s always the chance that you’re in a psycho ward somewhere or a coma and that you’re just hallucinating/dreaming you’re reading this blog. though i can’t understand why you would ever torture yourself with something so tedious. lack of imagination, i’d say. or a really complex one to be imagining me imagining you in your coma and writing this blog. but i digress.

considering that i can put on clothes and drive safely, but accomplish little else, and am incapable of coherent conversation (at least not any kind i can remember*), it makes me wonder at what truly qualifies as consciousness. a perfect example of the blurring of the line of consciousness is this morning at 7 am. i literally just woke up, read a text from my friend talking about a comedy show tonight, looked it up and bought a ticket. for the record, i am hella tired today and had i waited just another hour, or when i’d gotten to work, i would have realized that no, going to a show tonight is not a good idea. but, ticket is already bought, i’m not gonna waste the money, so to the show i go.

part of me, it must be said, is wondering if this is truly such a bad thing since i really could use to the get the fuck out of my house a bit more often. i mean, i am totally OK with being in my pajamas, staying snuggled up with my laptop in bed forever. not even an exaggeration. even now, that seems like an awesome idea. my logic circuit is strongly disagreeing with me, but that is what my id wants. there it is, folks. Chelsea’s deepest, darkest desire. so sick, right?! 😛 #tangents

so, yeah, consciousness. what does that say about me that i can navigate to web pages and make purchases via my phone half-way in my sleep? i mean, i can’t make basic decisions like do i or don’t i want breakfast. (seriously. ask my mom. she’s asked me before and i was incapable of making the decision.) you’d think that i would only be able to do the basest of survival functions. apparently my brain has stored “online purchases” among these survival functions.

i know i’m always saying i love the internet and i don’t want to imagine my life without it, but it’s a little concerning that my brain is adapting to incorporate it into my base functions. which begs the question: why not writing character outlines and subplots in my sleep, brain? probably more useful! #justsayin

* close friends, former boyfriends, and relatives can attest to the fact that i can APPEAR to be having a lucid conversation, but in fact be half-way asleep and have no recollection of such a thing having ever taken place.

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