finding closure

hello Lee!

so, what, you might ask, brings me to the old blogosphere? why, a new personal revelation in my writing of course! what else?

alright. so even though i’ve wanted to write this for forever, i know my beginning, middle and end, and i love all my characters, i felt stuck. i had that sense that things just weren’t big enough. i tried to fix this by transforming the resolution into a melee (cuz i mean, who doesn’t love violence?), but i still felt like i was missing the mark. i felt like, even though all the ends were securely tied, something was still unresolved.

and this is the part where i talk about how glad i am that i have adopted the writing theory that you should just write out everything that comes to you, because you don’t know how it will become useful. in this very story, i’ve written scenes that i never thought i’d put in that i now think are crucial. and i’ve written other things that, reading them back, seem completely frivolous. not to me or to the characters, but to the story. it just doesn’t serve the story. or at least not as well as something else could or already does. but i digress.

the point is, today, while i was writing one of those scenes that i figured would never end up in the final draft (and hey, maybe it still won’t), i stumbled upon the closure i’ve been missing. sure, in real life, my MC would make it through the story much more mature and responsible and would end things as it happens now. he wouldn’t let his anger and passions rule his decisions. but you know what? that’s fucking boring! and you know what else? that’s not who my character is! sure by the very end he’s this much more balanced and mature guy. but he can only become that guy and get his closure by indulging his passions, sound choices and maturity be damned!

sure just divorcing a cheating wife would be the logical and mature thing. but my MC would be far more satisfied by killing his wife and her lover and laying their bodies out in the street as an act of defiance- or some such. ok, actually my MC isn’t the wife-killing type. he’s more of the disappear your lover and hand you the most identifiable ragged, bloody piece of him, then methodically burn everything you ever loved type. but now i’m just getting really hypothetical since my MC isn’t even married so none of this could happen. i’m just saying, as patient and calculating as my MC is, he’s far more passionate in his anger to have things end as soundly as i originally was going to end it.

how did i finally stumble upon this revelation? i had my MC and his best friend talk it out. or- more accurately- i had them argue it out. they had a shouting match, came to a resolution, and were talking about shit that needed to happen next, and then they said it. during their conversation, they said what needed to be done to get closure. and after they said it, i face/palmed and exclaimed, “of course! of course that needs to happen! they wouldn’t have it any other way!”

i am now stuck working out exactly how i’m going to kill a character that was not only going to live, but is rather difficult to kill. but it’s really the only way to end things without having an Allegiant ending, so i’ll puzzle it out.

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