>cute stories – BEDA 12/13


now, we could pretend there was a post yesterday, but then we’d be venturing far past the world of slanted views and technicalities, and straight into delusional. besides, i can’t lie to you blog! lying to you would be like lying to myself. …actually it IS lying to myself. and, frankly, if i’m going to start lying to myself, i might as well go all the way. i’d want to be fabulously rich with a pony. i don’t want to ride the pony of course! i only want it to show that i have enough money to maintain a pony. but i digress!

so, i’m a weirdo who actually enjoys hearing my coworker’s stories about their kids. (they’re just these little people, ya know. yet to be tarnished by the world. how their little minds develop is absolutely fascinating!) so boss #3 is talking about his 2 1/2 yr. old son. “The probability of me finishing these (his green beans) isn’t very high,” he says. god, but i hope when (if) i have kids they say awesome stuff like that!

and while we’re on the topic of cute things: today i discovered i’d used the last of the toilet tissue when i went to replace the roll. i was very loudly complaining about this when my brother walked in and, very sweetly, asked for the empty cardboard roll. “out of toilet tissue? the roll?” he says with an outstretched hand. “what? you want this?” i say, handing it to him. he happily takes it, presses it to his eye, and says, “telescope!” as he walks away. you can’t not love that!

so, i’m getting way to tired to keep writing and i may or may not be having a Skype meeting with Sean tomorrow morning, so i need to sleep so i don’t do anything stupid in a half conscious state. like ok a page that’s in fuschia. not that i think Sean would make a page in fuschia, but still.

>The Envelope Theory

>Much like the the Grassy Knoll Theory, The Envelope Theory is deficient in logic and shrouded in mystery.

The Crime Scene (?):

The table in the lobby at the sister company next door.


1 FedEx Envelope set (thrown?) down to be picked up for delivery

1 Phone System gone wonky

The Theory:

Someone (or I) tossed the envelope on the table and, in the process, hit the button on the phone causing it to go into Night Mode*.


couldn’t this just be the result of a technical glitch, like we origianally suspected?

NO! this theory was pulled fresh out of my ass! there’s no way anything else could have happened! besides, it’s not like the repair man has been called several times before!


ok, so basically, coworkers start coming into the front office wondering what’s up with the phones. why are they getting emails about them not working?

my office mate and i look at the phone to see it is in Night Mode. Neither one of us set it to Night Mode, and we’re the only ones with Night Mode buttons. so we call the phone company.

while we wait for a repair man, The Envelope Theory is revealed. and at first, i accept The Envelope Theory. and had it not been for the condescending manner in which The Envelope Theory was introduced, i probably would have set it out of my mind and moved on. but i had been rubbed the wrong way, thus inciting the need to put things right.

whilst doing my mind-numbingly dull work, my mind began churning out logic. if it happened when i put down an envelope yesterday, how had we recieved calls earlier in the morning? since then, how had the phone set itself to Break Mode? twice? were people now throwing envelopes at it for sport? unless they’ve moved tho phone, then i would have had to have tossed the envelope toward the left. i’m right handed, so that didn’t happen. and finally, as my office mate pointed out, the trajectory is all wrong! the button is just high enough that for it to be hit by an envelope, the envelope would have to be tossed at a very peculiar angle.

the evidence just doesn’t add up.

see?!!! Grassy Knoll all over again people!

*When in Night Mode, the phone doesn’t ring and goes straight to voicemail. <!– text

rows of:
2 pics should be 375×250 or 300X500
3 pics should be 200×150 or 200×300
4 pics should be 175×100 or 175×225

1 picture should be 700×420 or 420×700

2 videos should be 234×380 –>

>the tea is gone!

>i wrote, Jack Sparrow stylee, on my dry erase board at work, “Why is the tea always gone?” and labled my picture “tea mug.”

someone decided that the “tea” should, literally, be gone. XD

…well, i thought it was funny!<!–

rows of:
2 pics should be 375×250 or 300X500
3 pics should be 200×150 or 200×300
4 pics should be 175×100 or 175×225

1 picture should be 700×420 or 420×700 –>

>office rearview

>boss #3 walked in (boss #1’s son) and i thought he was going to hand me a report or something. instead he set this down.

he said, “my dad had the mirror, and i had the part.” (it’s a part manufactured by the company next door (the one he’s boss #1 of). so, yeah. he built a mirror stand for me! 😀 now i can see who’s walking in the door. sometimes work is good.


>at the company i work for, we keep track of the work we’re doing by using job numbers. basically, when we do work under a specific project for a specific company, we post it to the corresponding job number. ex: engine design, for Plane Company, J#2222

take a gander at the last job number entry.

i’m not sure if i should be more concerned with what mistakes were made, or that there were so many of them that it actually requires a job number.

>welcom home!


oh, desk chair, how i missed you.

sure, i’ve been using the chair in front of the computer hutch 3 ft. away. but you can’t imagine what a long roll those 3 ft. can be.

there have been times i stood at that desk, rather than reach for the chair at the hutch to sit and write, because it just took less time. but no more do i have to compromise comfort for efficiency. for you have returned. i shall never again take you for granted.



>ok, i know i’m being a cynical bitch again- but, well, i don’t care.

just when i thought it couldn’t get more boring at work, work went and proved me wrong. the intern made a presentation about the organization our company is working with. but since i already visited the website and watched the video, i found myself insufferably bored and planning my escape route. my only solace was that everyone was watching the presentation and couldn’t notice my glazed over look. it didn’t help that the intern sounded like an agent from Orbis. *while a smiling person with a bandage over his eye was being shown* “…it makes happy people. And I don’t know about you, but that makes me happy.”

afterward, back in the front office, my coworker came in and said, “That was nice.” and it’s a good thing she spoke first, because I was about to say, “That was boring.” instead i just smiled and nodded.

it’s a cool organization. it’s a cool project to be involved in. i would recommend that people check it out. here’s a link so you can:

but the next time there’s a presentation, i’m gonna have somewhere else i need to be. my sanity depends on it.

>sweet escape

>i love finally having actual drawings to check the status of again.
even though i didn’t need to walk to the back, no one else knew that. so instead of not joining into the conversation and just seeming rude, i got to just pick up my notebook and leave the room with all involved assuming i had to go work on something.