>a grumpy blog – BEDA 8

>Blog Count: 8 Blogs Left: 22
Fatigue Meter: 5

don’t know what happened to the blog meters for the last couple of blogs. moving on!

ok, so it’s time to fess up. that “giant moth” that allegedly “tried to eat me” was really just a full sized regular moth that flew toward me and scared the crap out of me. although, in my defense, it had to be the creepiest moth ever. i heard this muffled crackling noise, and when i looked for where the sound was coming from, MOTH ATTACK!!! so yeah. creepy.

so, real quick, we’re gonna look at the pictoral representation of my life:

mm, yeah. yep. i like to refer to it as “My Life in 8 Boxes,” but you can call it any snarky thing you please, so long as you leave it in the comments.

i love that i’ve gone to guidetonerdfighting.com often enough (and everywhere else seldom enough) that it’s in my top 8! it’s barely been up for a day! Everything either has to do with Google or Nerdfighters.

well, the fatigue meter’s running kinda high today. which, honestly, is rather unexpected! all day i’ve been thinking of little things i could say or include, and just generally getting excited about it. (yes, i know that’s pathetic.) but now that i’m actually doing the actual blogging… well, i don’t really feel like blogging right now. i tried to watch some YT to kind of get me into a more “i wanna share with the world” mood, but to no avail. i apologize for being so crabby… that’s what it is! i’m just tired and kinda cranky. sorry. :/

i’m either really paranoid or i’m right (i really hope i’m not right!) about my emails being excessive. both in content and in quantity. i always am trying to make sure that there aren’t any misunderstandings and i think i might come off as bossy. and then i try to keep everyone informed, but i think i come off as… well, nagging. so if you’ve gotten email from me, and you really would rather i’d turn it down a notch, let me know. cuz any annoyance is definitely unintentional!

ok, i’m just reaching now. i’m too tired to talk about anything remotely interesting. though i AM looking forward to hearing about how things went at the Boulder stop on John Green’s book tour! can’t wait to get a chance to talk to Lydia about that! 😀 <!– text

rows of:
2 pics should be 375×250 or 300X500
3 pics should be 200×150 or 200×300
4 pics should be 175×100 or 175×225

1 picture should be 700×420 or 420×700

2 videos should be 234×380 –>

>Open Letter to Those I’ve Blocked

>Dear Everyone,

if i’ve blocked you on facebook, it means i would not like to hear from you ever again.

if i’ve blocked you, and everyone you know, i am now pretending you never existed. so you see how i might find it rather inconvenient if you keep emailing or texting me on my birthday. seeing your name in my inbox is simply a nuisance.

if you find that the urge to contact me is still irresistible, might i suggest dropping yourself off a building.

seeing as i’ve blocked you, you’re probably one of those smug, self-righteous assholes who wouldn’t be able to identify sage advice if it walked up and bit you in the face (which would be rather admirable of the sage advice). in fact, you would probably demonstrate precisely why you’re so contemptible and argue vehemently to the contrary. hence it is only part of your loathsome nature to blatantly disregard my suggestion and continue fouling up my inbox.

so if you must, please DO NOT send a message such as this:

we will now examine the above example and i shall indicate the points that make it truly obnoxious.

1) “-B” <– pretension like that takes years of practice.
2) you see that line right above the pretentious signature? yeah, that’s what you call a salutation. it belongs at the beginning, moron.
3) “title says it all.” <– then why the fuck did you keep writing?! i mean, i'm bewildered as to why you wrote at all, but why waste the time fumbling on?
4) “all’s well?” <– well, it was until i had to waste my time deleting this email. jerk.
5) “so now that i got a moment, swinging in to say a late happy birthday.” this part is so annoying it needs further segmentation.
       a) why on earth do you still think of me when you have a moment? PLEASE DON’T. it would be better for everyone if you found something else to do with your moments. preferably solitaire.
       b) this is an email. you’re not swinging in from anywhere. and i’d get a restraining order if you did.
       c) creepiness factor. really? ever since 2 weeks ago (my birthday), when you were too busy, you’ve been thinking, “i’ve gotta email her!” again i will reiterate: please don’t think of me- ever.
6) this one’s the big one. 2 weeks have passed. my birthday is long forgotten by now. i’m shocked to see ANYTHING referring to my birthday. and then it has to be this. it’s a surprise attack! unforgivably obnoxious.

oh, and if you DON’T heed my warning, and DO send an email such as this, know that you will be blocked.

(sigh) why do i waste my time? we both know you’re a self-serving prick and will continue to try contacting me until i realize how wonderful you are.

-Chelsea