>descriptive description

>hey blog!

i’m pretty sleepy, so i’m gonna keep this short, but i just feel the need to get one thing off my mind.

last week i was listening to this book about a ghost hunter. i wouldn’t recommend it or anything, but i didn’t want to kill myself. …although i do suspect i may be a bit forgiving.

in either case, this was the book i quoted the puke-worthy line from a few posts back. and though there were a couple more lines that were equally nauseating, they weren’t as irksome as some of the physical descriptions. the fact that most of them were blatantly cliche was bad enough, but…

ok, let me tell you what irked me first, then rant about it.

so there’s this hard-as-nails, older lady character that the main character is arguing with. first he (the author) says she has “raptor eyes.” now, unless you want to base this description on the Steven Speilberg movie Jurassic Park, then it’s a little hard to picture since no one has ever seen raptor eyes! ok, so you may be saying, “but Chelsea, clearly he was using the word by it’s other meaning which means a bird of prey.” and i’d be like, “ok. maybe you’re right. i guess i’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.” or at least i would say that if it weren’t for the fact that later in the same scene, he describes the same pair of eyes as “dragon eyes.” that’s right. we’ve moved from a real, yet unfortunately prehistoric and therefore unwitnessed animal, to an actual MYTHICAL CREATURE! snake eyes or reptilian eyes i could picture. and though it might not be the top pick for most original description, at least it would put an image in my head. and, seriously, let’s face it, it was so laden with cliches, what difference would two more make?

at least he didn’t go on to describe characters by likening their features to leprechauns and unicorns. though at this point i wouldn’t put it past him. but it’s ok if he does, because i won’t be reading any more of his books, so it doesn’t matter.

also, no more saying “impish grin.” this guy’s not guilty of it, but still. i was just trying to think of other things that annoy me in writing (just in general), and that was the first thing to come to mind.

ok. like i said, i’m keeping this short. and besides, if i write any longer it’ll just be me whining about things i’ve read that have annoyed me and occasionally made me want to shoot myself. in other words, this post would ironically become a writing of such caliber. and blog, i like you. i don’t want to do that to you. …i also like me, and don’t want to do that to me, either.

g’night!<!– text

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