>boy or girl? – BEDA 24

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hi blog! so, as promised, grumpy Chelsea went to sleep last night and awoke as refreshed, even-tempered, sound-minded, messy-haired, happy Chelsea. i would have linked to the grumpy Chelsea 7NAP video yesterday, but it was still uploading, so here it is today:

so, yes, i still think it epically sucked that i didn’t get to make the super-fun video i wanted to make due to lack of tweet participation, but i think i made a pretty good video despite me not wanting to even look at my camera, let alone turn it on, talk at it for 10 minutes, and then spend 45 minutes editing. that’s right. 45 minutes, sometimes an hour. aka i suck at editing. don’t judge me.

but i digress. actually no, i didn’t digress at all. i was completely on topic, however not the topic i would like to blog about today, and i rather like saying “digress” so i said it anyway. i also like saying “remiss” but i seldom get to say it. however now, i really am digressing.

so here it is kids! blog 24! (except not literally blog 24 because i kinda failed a couple times. :/)

(wait, are you cheering about the blog, or the fail?)

so, i’m making a sincere effort to catch up on the backlog in my sub box. and, in doing that, i’m making a lot of comments today. and sometimes, when i comment on a guy’s stuff, i tend to say things that are very girly because i am, after all, a girl, but i have a kind of guyish s/n. (coolhandjohnny) more than once i have found myself adding to the end of my comment, “i’m a girl btw.” i was about to do it today, but then left it off. the comment was on an sxephil video and i said, “i love that you love me in a weird way, and i love you in a weird way as well.” (or something extremely similar.) and sometimes there are videos that ask for female viewer opinions that i also feel it necessary to append my disclaimer.

the thing is: is it necessary to append my disclaimer?

again, i say i didn’t add it the sxephil love comment because i thought, “well, worst case scenario people think i’m a strange guy or gay guy.” which isn’t bad, i’d just much rather people know that i’m a girl.
now i chose my s/n because i wanted something generic, maybe even a bit guyish because, it’s sadly still a fact that, male opinions get more respect than female. i’ve been in debates in comment sections before where, when they knew i was a girl, the rebuttal included sexist remarks that called me out as inferior for being a woman. while i’ve also gotten remarks from equally sexist guys who said sexist remarks to the female sounding s/n’s (like sexyangel), but gave me a legitimate, albeit idiotic, answer.

so it’s both served me well, and failed me. i also find that it’s rather unique, so it does serve as identifying me as the individual that is coolhandjohnny. if you see that s/n, you can pretty much rest assured that it’s me. but also, it comes from the movie Cool Hand Luke. and while i remember the impression the movie left behind (i cried and everything!), i don’t remember too much of the movie itself. and as such, does it represent the individual that is me?

i also would like to properly add the conclusion to the February blog fragment i inserted into yestertay’s blog, but as this is getting rather lengthy, i’ll save that for tomorrow. <!– text

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>bad mood

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Fatigue Meter: 10

Chelsea and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

ok, so it wasn’t that bad (like at all), but i still wanted to say that. (book nostalgia FTW!)i wish i had written my blog earlier when i was in a better mood.

as much as i’d like to say i’m totally over it, i’m totally not over the fact that my plan for an epic video was epic alright. an epic fail.

so, i sent this tweet this morning. and no one replied. which rather sucked since i think it was a genuinely good idea.

it’s times like these that make you want to delete your twitter account. :/

anywho, since i sent the “important” email with all the details that everyone needs to know for the big meeting on Sunday, i really haven’t wanted to think about the Guide. and for the most part, i haven’t thought about it. i have tweets set to be sent automatically, so the one today was actually written days ago.

ugh! i’m talking about twitter again!

from Feb 5th:
so i’ve been thinking a lot lately about how awkward and slightly creepy it is to have friends online. don’t get me wrong, i love you guys. but, see, that’s the problem. it’s kind of creepy that i love you guys.
let’s look at the facts. with the exception of one person, i have never actually met any of the people i talk to online. i have a few people’s addresses, but no one’s phone numbers. i know what all of you look like, sound like, and quite a few of your favorite things. i know your aspirations and even a few of your fears. i also happen to talk to most of you at least once a day. even if only briefly via twitter. and if i don’t talk to you, i at least get an update via twitter/facebook/youtube/your blog.
ps. i wish the content of my blogs matched the quality of most of my titles. :/

my thoughts now: first, i’d like to point out that this is a perfect example of the fact that sometimes i write the last line before i’m finished with the post. i did that with my last blog entry as well.

ugh! i keep trying to turn this blog around and make it positive, but my mood just really sucks! every time i make an attempt to turn it around, it just u-turns and goes right back to negative! i can’t write an entry about internet friends when i’m this moody. ok, i’m going to stop this blog post before it gets any worse, and i’m going to bed before my mood can get any worse.

good night!
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