>i imagine…

>oh hai blog!

what’s that? you feel that i’ve been blatantly neglecting you? thinking about you constantly, yet avoiding you like the plague the way a 13 year old girl with a crush would? ok, i was gonna lie. i was gonna say it’s your imagination, you’re a bit melodramatic, and seriously, i only like you as a friend. but we both know the truth.

i’ve been avoiding you, blog. and it’s because i’ve gone ahead and set up stupid impossible standards that only exist in my mind… again.

you see, i’ve put you on this pedestal, blog. and now i can’t just dribble out some mundane pablum. we’re beyond that now. we’ve done better. and to go back to the drivel… it just seems like an injustice!

and so i’ve chosen to neglect you in favor of sparing you worthless nonsense. but can you blame me, blog? really?

so, because i’m a complete fucking psycho (or that’s what all the evidence indicates, in any case) i’ve taken on a new collab project. and i’m covering history. now this really, in all seriousness, is NOT a big deal. unless you’re me and you’ve decided that paranoia is necessary in all aspects of your life.

so do i simply say, “hey! i’ll give the wiki randomizer a spin till i find something i like, research it further, then vlog about it”? of course i fucking don’t! do you see any nail biting, lip chewing, or nervous ticks developing with that method? NO! so, clearly, not the choice for me.

ok, so i don’t bite my nails, nor do i have any nervous ticks, but i do chew my lips. and just give it some time! with a little diligence (and continuance of my current habits) i’ll get there! have a little faith, yeah?

and if you don’t believe that i can turn any situation into a panic attack, just take this blog as an example. it’s simple really. think of something, write about it. but no. i have to think, “later, when i have time. i’ll research it and make it really good.” and instead there’s no post at all.

so from here on in, here’s to not making such a big frickin’ deal about everything.

and now that i’ve put everything into perspective, thus clearing all of the ridiculous anxiety clouding my mind, i’ve figured out, during the writing of this post, what the next 2-3 5BD videos will be about.

thanks, blog. you’re such a good listener! and you always know just what to say. <!– text

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>Last Day! Yay! – BEDA 30

well, here we all are on the last day of BEDA!

i’m glad it’s done, but i’m gonna miss it, too! i kind of like planning ahead for what i’m gonna write for my blogs. 🙂 i think from now on, my blogs will be a bit more centered instead of just a random flow of whatever.

so i’m already scripting my first video for 5 Biggest Dorks! i’m really excited about it! i’ve never scripted a video before! i mean, i’m usually using notes. but those are just bullet points. i don’t actually write anything i’m gonna say ahead of time! but i kind of have to for this. it’s gonna be history packed into 2-4 minutes. i can’t cut myself off or edit something out. and i can’t ramble on, so i have to script it. i’m glad with this project i have two weeks to plan, record and edit each video! i have to post on Monday, but i don’t have to record it on Monday. like how 7NAP chronicles my life one Friday at a time. not that i’m giving up 7NAP any time soon, i like that too much! but this is fun cuz it’s completely different from anything else i’ve done. 🙂

plus, i think it’s something Nerdfighters will enjoy watching because it’s gonna feature 5 different personalities in 5 different locations completely nerding out about something they enjoy. i’d watch it! i mean, i’m just as excited about seeing what the others are going to do as much as i am about making my video. plus, besides Austin, i’m meeting 3 new people via this project! so i’m excited about the possible friendships i’m about to make.

well, blogosphere, for the last time we can call this BEDA this year:

/blog<!– text

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>you can call me Monday – BEDA 28


so blog, we’re almost done blogging every day in April. i still haven’t found something to do in May, but who knows? maybe i’ll find inspiration on May 1st.

so yesterday i saw the movie Chloe. now i generally liked the movie but i thought a couple of scenes were a bit pornographic and unnecessary.

my mom (not having seen it yet): so, what did you think of it?
me: i dunno. i liked it. but some scenes were a bit pornographic.
my mom: well, you are a bit of a prude, so… *shrugs*

my mother called me a prude!!! wha… how… just… wtf?

so, on May 10th, i’m gonna be in a new collab channel. (i’ll still be do Friday on 7NAP, i’ll just be doing this as well) this one was thought up by my friend Austin during her walk home. she was inspired by the song “Hey Kristina” by ALL CAPS. in particular the line, “Hey Kristina, i’m one of the 5 biggest dorks i know.” hence the channel name, “5 Biggest Dorks.”

So this is gonna be bi-weekly. or from a viewer standpoint, Mon-Wed-Fri one week, then Tue-Thu the next week. so there’ll be posts every week, but we’ll only be posting every other week. which is good because this isn’t just a get-to-know-you collab. i actually have to plan and probably (at least loosely) script my video. The idea is five people, each nerdy in their own way. i’m the history nerd. and i’m on Monday. so i’m starting of the week this time, instead of being nestled deep into the week where no one will notice me too much.

but i’m really excited about it too. cuz i’ve been wanting to do another project because i want to do something that makes me blog more often, and i wanted to do something different from 7NAP. so i said yes before i even knew what i was doing when Austin brought it up today. it took a while of me and Austin talking it out before i decided to do history. i kept thinking of it as this really dull torture full of research topics i don’t care about. because that’s what history was for me in school. but that’s not this. this is the parts of history that i find interesting. researching and learning about them will be fun, not tedious and torturous.

ok, blog. i’d write more, but i’m falling asleep! so i’ll have to say goodnight for now. :)<!– text

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