>formal apology

>wow! that last one was really bad, wasn’t it!

i couldn’t even break up the pointless drivel with a poor attempt at wit so that you could laugh as you mock me for my pathetic lack of writing ability.

despite me being able to operate a mouse and keyboard, my brain clearly wasn’t up for the whole sub-standard, writing-as-though-someone-cares blog writing thing. something to make note of for the next time i fall asleep WAY to early resulting in me waking up WAY too early. i’ll just stick to the reading and watching before the hour of 6am. *winces at the disgustingly early hour displayed in corner of screen*

so yeah, it’s Sunday. which only ever means one thing to me: Guide Meeting. and really, should it mean anything else? There are several things going on with the Guide including a brand spanking new partnership with the NF Gazette! …in fact, i should go blog that… *blogs* …there we go! fresh blog post for everyone to enjoy! 🙂 i feel accomplished now.

i also feel hungry. i’m gonna go make some eggs…<!– text

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>pointless blog

>hi!

i’m awake. it’s 4:30. AM. yeah.

i fell asleep at some ungodly early hour and now i’m awake at an ungodly early hour. cause and effect! so, blog post it is!

did you know that absolutely no one around at 4:30 in the morning. cuz no one is. i suppose this would be my chance to catch up on my blog reading…

sorry for the pointless post. :/<!– text

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>cross it off the list

>so, as all who are reading this blog* will know, i am reading (or, more accurately, blatantly ignoring) Lord of the Rings.
i’m nerdtastic**, so interest levels are not the obstacle. and i’ve been trying to figure out for weeks now*** why i just can’t seem to make myself start up again.

…okay, size. size is definitely a factor. let’s face it, that thing is cumbersome.

but book bulk never deterred me before. ironically, i’ve been spending a lot of time trying to figure out why i’m not reading the book instead of reading the book.****
but i think i’ve just had a breakthrough! Max Barry, an author i rather like, wrote this blog!
for those of you that the blog is about who didn’t even click on that link and assumed tl;dr, i kindly include a quote highlighting my point.*****

“…maybe there is a class of people, to which I belong, that is becoming addicted to bite-sized information delivered by scattershot… So I am interested in fiction that works with the internet, rather than fights it. Something that doesn’t sit there, 400 pages heavy, asking for a seven-hour commitment before I start. That’s the kind of fiction I’d like to read right now. Something that sneaks under my guard and pries me away from memes and status updates. I would like to find that.”

the “400 pages heavy, asking for seven-hour commitment” bit really speaks to me, seeing as LOTR is 1008 pages (not including maps, appendices and indices).
i thought my constant inattention and lack of motivation might be indicative of irreparable character flaws and (just barely) dormant neuroses. as it turns out, i’m just a hopeless internet addict! phew!

now that i’ve unraveled that enigma, i can cross it off my list of “Things To Do Other Than Read LOTR.” now i can get to reading! …perhaps after i finish editing the small collection of videos waiting on my hard drive.******

Notes:

* on this topic, you guys are really messin’ me up here. it’s not that i don’t appreciate you reading, because i really do! <3 it’s just that you’re kinda making a liar out of me. if you haven’t noticed the big blue banner (alliteration WIN! attention span FAIL) at the top, it says “Unread Blog.” which was true when i made it. but it’s rather false as of late. i’ve gotta do something about that. *sets out suggestion box*

** fantastically nerdy. is it weird that i don’t know if this is an over-statement or an understatement?

*** literally, it’s been 2 weeks since i last picked up that book!

**** in fact, i think it’s reason #532 for not reading.

***** yeah, this one has a point! go figure, eh?

****** wow! are you sick of the star (i know it’s an asterisk) thing yet? i am! thank goodness this blog is over and we can be done with them! but anyway, yeah, i’ve got at least three videos due to be posted. and i’ve had a few video ideas where i’ve been like, “sure. you can do that… after you finish the first three!” again i ask, where the hell are those extra hours?! i could kinda use them about now.

>inspired

>i was just reading Lydia’s blog and, as per usual, was inspired. she always writes the lovliest things and makes me consider what’s going on in my life.
now, i don’t know how many sunny days there are in California, but i do know that i have a pretty sunny life (despite the clouds currently threatening rain outside). my life is filled with laughter and friendship and inspiration and fun plans.
i’ve been thinking a lot about my life in general lately, especially since designing the wall behind me in my videos. it’s covered with places/events i’ve been to, music i like, and friends i’ve made.
not too long ago, i was quite depressed. all my irl friends were out of town, i was feeling less and less of a connection to them anyway, and i just couldn’t seem to find a purpose. like, a “what the hell am i doing with my life?” purpose.
it’s so different from today, where i’m planning today’s video(for 7NAP), thinking of how i’ll be editing another video(for my channel), checking the VidCon countdown, figuring a savings plan to go to England, collecting things for my culture packages, and finding a theme for the next Nerdfighter gathering.
it’s ironic how my irl friends being out of town or in other countries means not talking to them and growing apart, but half of my online friends are in other countries and we talk all the time and are constantly growing closer.
maybe that has more to do with me changing and the kind of people i choose as friends. but whatever it may mean, the fact remains: while my life could use more money, better focus, and a bit more exercise, there’s definitely no lack of sunshine!<!– text

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>memory and masochism

>so… i’m downloading stuff right now. what that means for me is i’ve got time to kill. what this means for you is blog post. i’m telling you this up front so you don’t have any quality expectations. (ha! as if you had any!)

thinking of quality expectations, i’ve been thinking a lot about the quality of my videos. i think i need an upgrade. but since i don’t have any talent, i’m going to have to rely on smoke and mirrors. in other words, better editing software. which is what i’m downloading. which is why you now have a blog post from me.

which brings me to something i really feel i need to discuss with you before we go any further. seriously, i need to know why you continue reading this. it’s obviously not for the witty humor, the intelligent dialogue, or the unique point of view (which are severely lacking). so why do you do this to yourself? it’s rather masochistic and i’m becoming rather concerned. and i just want to let you know i’m here for you to get you through this low point in your life. i’ll do anything… except improve the quality. or stop writing all together, which is probably what i should do. but hey, you’re not the only masochist here, ok?

ha! it always cracks me up writing stuff like that. writing as though there’s an audience! hilarious! XD

you know, it’s been aggravatingly more apparent lately that time just doesn’t flow properly for me. i mean, the now is alright. but keeping track of dates coming in the future, and measuring the past is where the problems start. future dates just seem to come out of nowhere and hit me over the head! total surprise attack! which is odd since it’s not like i couldn’t see it coming. and the past is even worse! how long ago did that last thing happen? two days ago? two weeks ago? two months ago? it’s all the same to me! seriously! anything past yesterday all kinda melts together, and even this morning is a little foggy.

you know those exercises that you would sometimes have in classes where you had to recall what you had for breakfast? well sometimes i would lie just so i wouldn’t have to be embarrassed when my turn came and i was the only one who didn’t remember.

so i really only remember big events and holidays and things that take place surrounding big events and holidays. also, the more often i do something, the more the memories melt together. like i remember going to Warped Tour cuz i only went once. the Hellogoodbye shows, however, are starting to get a bit fuzzy. and i’ve only been to three.

*sigh* my memory is a weird and barely functional thing. :/<!– text

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>the V is for vapid

>i am with most of the single masses who say Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday developed (or in any case, heavily marketed) by the card companies. that said, i am not with a lot of the single masses who are bitter toward the holiday.
a lot of people like to use it as a license to unabashedly immerse themselves in an exorbitant pity party. i’m not saying i’ve never laid claim to such license, but it’s been quite a few years since i have.
V-Day is just another day. i’m not going to feel any more lonely or sad than i would any other time. and honestly, why should i? if a few sappy advertisements and garish pink decorations can send me into a day of surliness, embittered tears, and chocolate binging, then i have far bigger troubles than being unable to find a mate. seriously, that’s a lot of venom to conjure over not getting a card.
and let’s not forget that the candy companies love you, Sir/Lady Sourpuss, just as much, if not more, than they love the happy couples. the grocery bill for your grumpy get-together, “love sucks” soiree, or private pity party will match, if not exceed, the cost of the happy couple. mouths to feed + cards and candy (those consolation presents friends exchange) + party decor = lots of money for those card/candy/flower/toy companies.
but even when i’m not single, i don’t make a huge deal out of V-Day. you shouldn’t wait for a “special day” to show that you love your significant other. you shouldn’t be getting each other presents because it’s “couple day.” you should be giving each other presents because you genuinely think you’ll be making your sweetheart happy by giving them something they want or need. and that shouldn’t be reserved for a special day. V-Day should be the cherry on top, not the entire sundae. and besides, do you know where all those stupid heart-hugging bears from “love days” past are? yeah, me neither.
now, i could go on to examine the gender roles dictated by the media (that, sadly, people merrily enact), but there’s only so long one rant blog can go on before becoming tedious.
instead i will leave you with this: Valentine’s Day is fun when you’re in a couple. just an extra excuse to appreciate each other. but anything more than that, and you’re both cheapening your relationship and bowing to mindless consumerism. for everyone else, it’s just another day and shouldn’t affect you otherwise. unless, of course, you want an excuse to show appreciation for your friends and family. but make it from the heart; it’s Valentine’s Day!
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>let’s get ready to ramble!

>i’m not even gonna look at how long it’s been since i’ve written because i already know the conclusion: it’s been too long.
so i am now reading LOTR. since beginning this endeavor i’ve noticed a strange phenomenon. i avoid reading it despite enjoying it. i can only theorize that this is because of its size. at nearly 2 inches thick, it’s a little bit intimidating. (that’s what she said.)
7NAP is doing pretty well. challenges are in the works. i can’t wait till we start that! 😀
i’ve recently decided that i must begin practicing writing again. you know, like a journalist and not just blogs and random articles for The Guide. even thought i think i should do more stuff for The Guide as well.
so i have a few video ideas right now, and i wanted to do at least one of them last week, but my nose was all stopped up and i sounded weird so i didn’t do it. now i just need to find the time to make my videos.
i’ve also gotta work on putting together my culture packages. apparently Steve and Dome have joined in on the fun. i wish i had been told sooner than just yesterday! and i’m glad i hadn’t already bought stuff! that would’ve sucked if i had already started shopping and then found after the fact that they were participating.
so can i get another hour added to the day? please? please???

Song of the Day:

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