>douche

>so last night, i’m walking into the apartment with my family, and i see that the neighbor upstairs has decorated.

check it out!

yeah, they moved in about a month ago. -that’s right kids. in the middle of August, this guy thought, “Christmas lights. Brilliant!”

what do i think?

douche.

my only relief is that, since they live directly above me, i can’t see that from my patio. thank God for small favors.

>weird stuff

>i usually share these one at a time, but Photobucket decided to take the initiative, make a folder called “Mobile Uploads,” and start putting stuff from my phone in there. now, considering both my neurotic love for organization, and my overwhelming laziness, this usually would be a good thing. but since i’ve conditioned myself to check my photobucket and post what’s on the first page, and this stuff never went to the first page, it didn’t work out so well.

anyways, on with the weird!

either Yoga gurus are known to get a hankerin’ for Del Taco, or Del Taco is trying to communicate something to their patrons. either way, this is just strange.

next we have veggie grated topping. no, no. not topping for your veggies. grated topping made out of veg. i don’t know what it is. it supposedly tastes like Parmesan. i’m not brave enough to find out. and i don’t hate my intestines.

now, i don’t know about you. but all i see when i look at this is someone depressed and stuffing their feelings. no effort. grab a spoon and a bucket, wash your feelings down with cheesecake. personally, i’m waiting for brownies in a bucket.

and this one is less weird and more awesome. i found this in a Carl’s Jr. i love Monster. yeah, yeah, it’s bad for me. *rolls eyes* it’ll cause heart attack, aneurysms, internal bleeding, cancer, and spontaneous combustion. shove it. i want a quick death.

>welcom home!

>

oh, desk chair, how i missed you.

sure, i’ve been using the chair in front of the computer hutch 3 ft. away. but you can’t imagine what a long roll those 3 ft. can be.

there have been times i stood at that desk, rather than reach for the chair at the hutch to sit and write, because it just took less time. but no more do i have to compromise comfort for efficiency. for you have returned. i shall never again take you for granted.

XOXO

>Hygiene

>

there are 20 people at the company i work for. 2 of us are women. the men’s bathroom is out of soap. only 2 guys were bothered by this. i pointed this out to my office-mate (the other woman). we are both, officially, disgusted.

aeronautical engineers. apparently not so keen on bacterial infection.

-maybe i should find some pocket-sized Lysol.

>best laid plans

>you know what my friends are best at?

making plans. they are good at getting a hold of you, making a connection, sharing those inside jokes. they really have a knack for engraving a date and time in your head. they have a firm grasp on what’s fun and a good time to do it.

unfortunately they all have a strange fear of commitment. or, at the very least, they have a distinct aversion to committing to their plans. i’ve taken to referring to them as “The League of Flakes.” (in my head, anyway.)

i’m always amused when someone contacts me to get together. from the moment of contact it’s a countdown to when the cancellation/”sorry i didn’t call you” message comes through. and that’s always my favorite part, ’cause it’s usually accompanied by a heartfelt apology and a fervent professing, in the sincerest manner of course, that we MUST get together soon. these are usually vague promises, though occasionally, they’re more pretend plans.

can’t imagine such a thing? well, here’s a visual aid.

friends,plans

why do they do this? do they get some kind of queer amusement in making plans they never intend to follow through with? or is it really the breaking the plans that they enjoy?

i’m afraid i don’t have the answers to these questions. and frankly, the process is so repetitious, i really can’t be bothered to wonder anymore.

is there really any question as to why i’m anti-social?

>hear me roar!

>i am a Gryffindor! if i weren’t a Gryffindor, i’d be a Hufflepuff. here’s the proof:


Which Hogwarts house will you be sorted into?

Your in-depth results are:

Gryffindor – 14
Hufflepuff – 12
Ravenclaw – 12
Slytherin – 8


click image to enlarge

more will be added as i take them. assuming they aren’t ridiculously biased or obvious (as in i can choose the answers that get me into Gryffindor.)

>i <3 concert

>Bob Dylan tickets arrived today! yayness! 🙂

they’ll stone ya when you’re at the breakfast table
they’ll stone ya when you are young and able
they’ll stone ya when you’re tryin’ to make a buck
they’ll stone ya and then they’ll say, “good luck”
but, I would not feel so all alone
everybody must get stoned

>liars!

>

um… is it just me or was this statistic pulled out of someone’s ass? if it’s an electric car, then there ARE NO GALLONS. they could say it gets 2mpg or 1500mpg and it would mean the same thing. what kind of marketing ploy are the trying to pull exactly???

and if it needs gas, then it’s not an electric car, it’s a hybrid. maybe a really advanced hybrid, but still a hybrid.

don’t lie GM! people already don’t like you!

car article

>presentation

>ok, i know i’m being a cynical bitch again- but, well, i don’t care.

just when i thought it couldn’t get more boring at work, work went and proved me wrong. the intern made a presentation about the organization our company is working with. but since i already visited the website and watched the video, i found myself insufferably bored and planning my escape route. my only solace was that everyone was watching the presentation and couldn’t notice my glazed over look. it didn’t help that the intern sounded like an agent from Orbis. *while a smiling person with a bandage over his eye was being shown* “…it makes happy people. And I don’t know about you, but that makes me happy.”

afterward, back in the front office, my coworker came in and said, “That was nice.” and it’s a good thing she spoke first, because I was about to say, “That was boring.” instead i just smiled and nodded.

it’s a cool organization. it’s a cool project to be involved in. i would recommend that people check it out. here’s a link so you can:

but the next time there’s a presentation, i’m gonna have somewhere else i need to be. my sanity depends on it.